u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
