I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Acid is not a monday night drug
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
