Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we made out on top of his cat.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
