i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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