have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
