when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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