Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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