I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
