he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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