And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
