Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
