no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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