I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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