I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
