I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
