i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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