I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
