I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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