You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
