bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
