My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
