Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
