Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
