Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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