just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
