Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
third nipple confirmed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
