Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
