how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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