i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pants are for mortals
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
