It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
