i think my mom watched the whole time
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i think im in europe. pls send help
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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