I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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