worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
A+ Viking dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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