There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
