i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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