I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it hurts more in the daytime
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
