mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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