I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
