I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
false alarm. still invincible.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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