absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you had me at cake vodka
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
