And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
