My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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