So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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