barbara walters just said penis...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
