Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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