I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Found your dick twin last night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
