So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
