My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
