the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
