in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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