3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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